ClaudiaCasanova's avatar

ClaudiaCasanova

Claudia
72 Watchers162 Deviations
12.4K
Pageviews
Perhaps I am pissing in the wind again, but I would like to endeavor to become more active on DA again.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Well... what's new, what's new, where to begin. My car got broken into the other night. My labtop, gps, blue tooth, 200 dollars, and ipod got stolen. So i've lost my novel, my voice, my finances, my music, and my sense of direction. lol

Sigh, to quote a friend "Courtney if you didn't have bad luck, you wouldn't have luck at all." She is so right. -_-

And yet, despite all that things look up. Every bend in the road brings a new adventure, or a new heartbreak, and no not romantically speaking. I found my baby! My beautiful red tailed boa that had went adventuring in my apartment for the past month and a half.

I feel lost right now, and I felt this way before those pettey material things got stolen. But now I truly, severly feel this painful sensation of misdirection in my life. I'm not able to focus on any man, I can't bring myself to care. To give two shits about any of them. The only thing remotely close to 'liking' someone would be pent up sexual frustration, which believe me, isn't and shouldn't really be an issue because I'm not having any trouble with a consistent sceduale in that department.

I've realized something about myself that is scary. The love I truly believed in, the love I gave everything for wasn't love at all. But isn't that always the case. I'm enamored with the feeling of love, not the person.

~Claudia
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Spring. The time when mother earth bursts into life and reminds us mortals how beautiful she really is. The sweet scent of summer tickles my nose, the warm promise of sunburn, loud music, and creek diving excite my imagination to the point where I shiver with anticipation.

God, spring is good. Rebirth, new life, new faces, choices, and subsequently new love. I use the term love loosely. The potential for this love is like the unavoidable bloom of a rose in the heat and damp of mid summer. In the words of this man, this man who's slowly creeping into my raw heart "we have the potential to make this, our relationship, into something beautiful." I focus on that one word: potential. I could fall for him, and that's my biggest fear. I don't want to loose myself, or my newly obtained freedom. I don't want to clip my wings and my ambition for a man. And as silly as that sounds, people loose themselves in love. And I'm frightened.

So right now I play for time and wait. Right now I make love to spring and let God direct my heart.

Obviously, I going to be writing poetry about this. Beware!

~Claudia
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I find myself becoming incredibly frustrated with the concept of money. I throw myself into making a budget each week and also monthly, but the recent turn of events in my life that is preventing me from enjoying all this extra hard earned money is- my lawyer. I paid him 1,000 for the first month os his employment, this was supposed to cover the preliminary trial- that was cancelled. Now he hands me this beautiful piece of shit contract that states he would like a total of 4,500 by early February. At that rate,  if I have 16 weeks to pay this off, I owe him 281 dollars a week. That's over two thirds of my paycheck. TWO FUCKING THIRDS. Needless to say I am slightly irritated with him. I could have a much better lawyer for that cost. So today I get to shop around for a new lawyer. FML. If they quote me the same thing, I'll keep my current one, if not I'm going to save myself a hell of a lot of money...which is supposed to be getting saved for a trip to Belize in May. :/

In other not so depressing news: I bought my first art pad thing..... er, canvas paper book thing. (Obviously I am not up to date on artist lingo, considering I am attempting to be artsy with my hands and not words for the first time since high school). I have a whole bunch on conceptual ideas I want to start working on with paint and the whole nine yards. I also bought these really nifty cross-stitch packs, because I'm a poor waitress/ barista. My family members are each getting one of these cross stitch things, so I can save money, and put some effort into the present.

What else? Poetry my dear friends, SO MUCH POETRY. What I'm looking forward to the most is planning two additional vacations for next year. These won't be able to be finalized until I get the verdict from circuit court. I don't know if I am allowed to travel in the off chance I would get pbj (for something I didn't do. Dammit). However, if all those things come together nicely after the trail date I can finalize a summer trip to nags head and a week and a half trip to new jersey for the Geraldine Dodge Poetry Festival in October of 2012. Budgeting is a wonderful thing.

So, specifically about poetry now: I am in the process of writing one- Holy Shit I finished it, never-mind! I will post in on here probably this weekend. :)

More excitingly is what I am going to do with the next series of poem I am endeavoring to write! I promise, if they turn out you will all greatly enjoy them! What I will tell you is that the pieces will be both artwork and poetry, and it is going to be super banging, hopefully :)

So yeah, if anyone has any advice about the lawyer issue I get to so joyfully get to deal with, I would appreciate some feedback on what I should expect/do about the situation.

Thanks for reading this! Hope everyone had a very happy halloween. :)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I feel like time is taunting me. A series of very despairing events have occurred over the past month, and so far I feel the dull stretch of time and stress boiling under October skies.

And one would think an outlet for this stress would be through my poetry...alas, I have kept myself so preoccupied with new found love I hadn't had time to write.

Obviously poetry is brewing and will be posted here shortly after it is written. For now I think I might post the poems I had concocted previously, before the big incident happened.

These poems vary in size, style, and subject. I'm hoping you will all enjoy them, at least as much as I enjoyed writing them.

Other news! It's my birthday! Or at least my birthday party is today...which mostly consists of football and icecream cake :)

Since I am no longer in college, :( , I shall be devoting myself to hobbies, studies, and my two jobs. Although I miss my librarian job something terrible.

Happy October everyone! Enjoy =, what I consider to be, the best month of the year :) Go hiking and seek out some inspiration before the chill of winter is upon us :)

With love

~Claudia
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured

Devious Journal Entry by ClaudiaCasanova, journal

Summer's Scent is Heady by ClaudiaCasanova, journal

Spring How I Missed Your Touch by ClaudiaCasanova, journal

It's a Shitslide by ClaudiaCasanova, journal

Devious Journal Entry by ClaudiaCasanova, journal